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The O'Dangerous Times
"When the world of civilized people is obstructed by injustice and horrible crab monsters, the world becomes dangerous and man can no longer be trusted to guard the honor of the human race. It is high time we unite, together as one and take on our adversaries. We fight for freedom and the safety of not getting slaughtered by horrible crab monsters." - Breshvic Penicillin in the prelude of the O'Dangerous Times In the beginning of the formation of the earth, the earth was a volatile place, full of bad environs and molten lava. Liquid fumes danced through the air like dangerous crab monsters, much like the horrible crab monsters that lived on the planet at the time. THey lived there and had their kingdom, but when the earth cooled and the environment flourished, they were forced underground by the dinosaurs. A Kingdom of Horror For eons they reigned supreme over the earth, the horrible crab monsters. But when the environment gave birth to the dinosuars their reign was ended. They were forced underground into what is now known as Crabopolis, and spet the rest of time there. WHen the dinosaurs were destroyed by alien meteors sent byThe Metatron, it caused the horrible crab monsters to go to sleep. Prelude to War During a skirmish, Revengerist Sagant was battling Turbinator and caused a detonation in an old techno-ruin which woke up the Crab Queen and the denizens of Crabopolis. It was a slow awakening; for months afterward no one knew about the horrible crab monsters, but over time their appearances became more and more numerous. The Revengerists respond to these appearances sometimes and sometimes they completely ignore them, mostly when they're especially devestating. However, the villain Freedo Shef discovered a valuable mineral Crabobtainium in the openings these horrible crab monsters caused and capitalized upon it. He built a wealthy food manufacturing empire to rival that of Frito/Lay and Hostess, threatening to put them out of business. This spurred The Revengerists into action, because without cheap and available snacks, how would they manage the budget to feed Dr Tasty???? There wasn't any way, because Shef's food business was pricey and had terrible flavors. The Contingency of Foods Retribution was swift and furious, the Awesomes of the Revengerists Consortium dealt powerful blows to Freedo's manufactorums and offices. He spent the vast majority of his wealth on fruitless defense, much of his power was diminished. With his stranglehold on the stores of crabobtainium loosened, other corporations, villains, and various entities struck. Battles over the rare substance were numerous and fatal; mercenary companies were created and hired throughout the world. Benevolent and beloved corporations like Papa John's became ruthless war factions. During this entire thing, the horrible crab monsters of Crabopolis attacks became more numerous and aggressive. Due to the shifting of tektonik (so kronik) plates, they were loosened from their prison. Attack of the Horrible Crab Monsters At the peak of the War for Food, the Crabopolis Queen made her presence known to the world. She sent wave after wave after wave of horrible crab monsters out in the world. The Revengerists fought back and easily won due to the fact that their powers were great enough to destroy entire galaxies, let alone stupid talking crustaceons. There was a problem though, once a horrible crab monster was slaughtered, its blood polluted the earth and smelled really bad. Entire portions of continents smelled of rotten crab meat and this wasn't cool with anyone. So the Revengerists went underground to end the problem. O'Dangerous Times The world's once angelic corporations were at war, horrible crab monsters were killing people left and right, and Dr Tasty was all out of snacks and super pissed. This was the pinnacle of the O'Dangerous Times. The Crabopolis Queen announced her takeover of the world and many villains sided with her. All awesomes not battling bad-guys on the surface or corporations were sent underground to root out the evil horrible crab queen. There they found a completely new world, where they had magical adventures which happened over the course of a year and spawned a short-lived comic series called The Revengerists: Adventures in The Magical Realm. Eventually they found Crabopolis and battled a fierce battle with the villains who sided with the Crabopolis Queen. This is where Harbjar developed his patented tremor force power. Many villains were outright slain, never to be seen again like Karnage, Fleet Feet, Magical Joe,Sonny Veil, Snipe, Dark Guy, The Chillinator, Sword Stabber, Shat, and The Condor. This is theorized to be an excuse for the writers to kill off throwaway characters they didn't like or didn't feel like writing, because these guys definitely don't show up in any future comics that anyone knows of. During this battle they confronted the Crabopolis Queen, who showed tremendous power and it took the combined efforts of awesomes to take her down. During this frackas a beloved member of the team was killed. The Death of Irish Cream The powerful awesome Irish Cream mowed through legions of crab monsters and minor league villains straight to the Crabopolis Queen. He tried to reason with her, stating the denizens of Crabopolis and the citizens of Earth could coexist in productive peace, but the horrible crab queen would not hear it. She attacked Irish Cream in a rage and the two had a cataclysmic battle that sundered mountains and boiled oceans (figuratively.) During their fight Irish Cream slipped on some crab goo and the Crabopolis Queen impaled him with her mighty pincers and did some really horrible things to him. She killed him. He was dead. All humans and bipedal awesomes were in shock at his death. The rest was a blur of super beams, Dimension Rifts, power punches, and other force attacks. The minions of Crabopolis were slain to the last, every villain that didn't escape was brutally maimed, and The Crabopolis Queen sufered the worst, Breshvic fried her alive inside her exoskeleton and Dr Tasty made a fine stew out of her remains. The Battle was won, but a valuable friend was lost. In his dying breath, Irish Cream whispered teh secret of making the best bailey's into the ears of Odd Jog who would be the keeper of that secret. The O'Not-So-Dangerous Times The Revengerists used their combined powers to seal the pathways to Crabopolis shut for eternity (or until someone drilled into the center of the earth...again) and performed a planet-wide mind-wipe so no one would remember the horrible seductive power of the crabobtainium mineral. They didn't think that through though, because they forgot to do away with the Food PMCs and mercenary companies so everyone was left confused as to why they were shooting guns at people in Chef Boyardee outfits and the such. This caused another era of weird stuff that happened, but that's a tale for another time... Irish Cream's remains were buried next to the local liquor store where he liked to hang out. From then on every year the Revengerists would go to his burial site and honor his memory by pouring the best bailey's prepared by one of the awesomes who all knew how to make it on his grave, letting his soul drink in the ambrosial liquird. Then aliens attacked earth and everyone promptly forgot what just happened. Category:Events Category:Comics Issues